My curse.

I suffer from a couple of conditions, notably procrastination and self-sabotage. It seems the actual thing I want to do, I am least likely to get on with >>> !?!!?!! So I've decided to stop the nonsense.

pro·cras·ti·nate

v. pro·cras·ti·nat·ed, pro·cras·ti·nat·ing, pro·cras·ti·nates

v.intr.

To put off doing something, especially out of habitual carelessness or laziness.

v.tr.

To postpone or delay needlessly.

"Self-sabotage is when we say we want something and then go about making sure it doesn't happen." ~ Alyce P. Cornyn-Selby

<<< time to reverse the cycle

Nihilism sets you free.

"What? What the hell are you talking about Sam? Isn't nihilism that nasty, anarchistic movement that believes in fuck all?"
Well, yes... and no.
Here's some dictionary definitions:
1. total rejection of established laws and institutions.
2. anarchy, terrorism, or other revolutionary activity.
3. total and absolute destructiveness.
4. Philosophy:
 a. an extreme form of skepticism: the denial of all real existence.
 b. nothingness or nonexistence.
So yea, nihilism gets a bad deal. But I'm more interested in the philosophical aspects it has to offer (4a. and 4b.) not the initial definitions 1, 2 and 3.  I do not totally reject the law and institutes, in fact I embrace them. I may question them, but I understand and value their role to build better societies. I do not support anarchism or terrorism. And I do not believe in total and absolute destructiveness. Just to set the record straight.
I appreciate the philosophical ideas surrounding nihilism.
So how can nihilism set you free?
Existential nihilism interests me. This is what set me free. Why do we exist? Are we real, or are we brains in a vat? There are many philosophical concepts that I find fascinating. For me, when I read the Freydis book of Nihilism certain ideas matched my belief system. It opened my eyes to the truth of existence, and in that truth I found peace. In nothingness I found my own personal harmony. 
I accepted we are a planet, a tiny spec floating within the vast depths of nothingness. I don't find this depressing. I find it uplifting. It somehow allows you to see the bigger picture, to realise that everything we perceive as being important... isn't. For me, it's a spiritual acceptance of my existence. I am a tiny human, occupying a tiny planet. Upon realising this, I could then breathe.
I was feeling so much pressure I couldn't breathe. My career, my family, my lifestyle... it all felt unreal. Now though, it doesn't. Since accepting the reality of nothingness, everything in my life gained more significance. I could see clearly. With clarity came understanding, and with understanding came purpose.
I just want to challenge any preconceived ideas you may have about nihilism. It's not a word that conjures positivity. As with anything, it's what you take from it and learn from it. I am not a political nihilist. No. Definitely not.
I am an existential nihilist.
I will continue to create my own subjective meaning and purpose. I will continue to embrace the universe, where one day my energy will be cast.
Think on that, just for a moment.

Modern Creative goes social

Hi. First of all, apologies. If you're one of the few people who visit my blog, I apologise for my lack of posts in the last few months. I've been thinking. Which is one of my weaknesses/strengths. I've sorted out a lot of shit in my head, with various jobs and projects, and well, what to do about it all! I've been doing some streamlining, and yea, at one point I wasn't sure if 'modern creative' was the right platform for me to rant and rave and share my artwork. It turns out, it is! I miss it. I have other commercial social media outlets for my mainstream/paid work, but I really need this. I really need 'modern creative'. Somewhere I can post whatever random image I may create, or whatever issue I want to rant about. And if someone out there likes it, or doesn't... I'm cool with that.

So I've set up a couple of other social media pages to tie in with this one. Y'know, to get it all connected and to help spread the word.

So if you're visiting this blog, and reading this sentence, please take a moment to visit both my Modern Facebook and Modern Twitter pages, and to 'like' and 'follow':

Modern Creative on Facebook

Modern Creative on Twitter

Thanks!

Ok, I'm designing some upcoming blogs to get the juices flowing! I'm more politically involved now and more aware of what's going on out there. With reality in mind, and the deep sense of philosophy about the world in which we occupy, I'm looking forward to the upcoming journey.

Canvas no. 01 (work in progress)

work in progress. acrylic on canvas (18.01.13)

Painting, a bit odd after all these years

I recently started painting onto canvas. Nothing amazing, just playing with colour and how the paint 'feels' as it interacts with the surface. it's been a while since I last painted. It's an extension of my sketchbook... so it looks really abstract, applying my automatic technique. Whatever goes. I'll post something up soon to show how it's going. Yea, feels a bit odd after all those years 'off'. But good. Feels like escapism from my commercial work.

[a blank canvas] comment

Sometimes saying nothing says everything. Less is more. Please ignore the cliches, I don't care. Sometimes you have to do nothing before you can do anything. You have to embrace the reality of emptiness before you can appreciate the beauty of creativity. In my art, it all starts with a blank canvas. A technique I often go back to when I need to reset my thought process and start again. A blank canvas really clarifies things for me when my art looses direction.

a blank canvas

(19.11.12)

[moment reason purpose] comment

Life is built upon by a series of moments. What were you doing the moment before reading this? How about 4 moments ago? But why and how do we decide what happens from one moment to the next? What kind of moments do you prefer? And for what purpose? What drives us as humans? These questions burn at the back of my brain constantly. I seek short periods of time where I can enjoy my being here. I have a balanced collection of experiences. Can a small moment in time change things in the bigger scheme of things? I takes moments, and I take each day as it comes. I enjoy the 'now'. After reading this, take the next moment to really consider the 'now'. What are you thinking? What are you planning to do next? Really experience it. Identify the moment, discover its reason... and ultimately its purpose for existing.

moment reason purpose

(06/11/2012)

[perplex complex reflects] comment

It can be a confusing and intricate process, recognising the past. To move forward... do we actually need to commit time to the past? Is there any point in that? Surely what's done is done, and it's what comes next that is important. Or do we learn from our mistakes? Am I over-thinking this? This image came from my sub-conscience. I often find it challenging when it comes to the 'past/future' debate. I like looking back and exploring what happened. I also like looking forward and the excitement of what tomorrow will bring. I think the two need to work in unison... learn from the past so we can build a better future. But let's not dwell or live in the past... no. That would be bad. Recognise it, enjoy it, think it over... then move forward with a sense of purpose. Fire those brain cells and embrace time in a collective sense.

perplex complex reflects

(30/10/12)

[underneath the waves] comment

What's hidden between the lines? Underneath the waves? We are surrounded by energy. We are energy. But there are some things in this world that we simply don't understand... so what makes up that energy? What kind of energy is hidden, masked by the waves? Waves are all around us, and I'm not just talking about literal waves in the oceans... although they do make up a small part of what I'm talking about. Sound. Light. These can be measured as waves of energy. So, what about the energy that's beyond our understanding of the world? What secrets and/or power does it hold? Are we surrounded by energy that's beyond our comprehension? What if the energy as we knew it decided to evolve and take control? If it decided to fight back? Would our existence as we know it come to an end? Would the societies we have built be over? I think there are a lot of unexplained aspects of life on earth. Energy has yet to reveal it's true colours, where one colossal event could cause a multitude of ripples.

Underneath the waves

(23/10/12)

[freedom via slavery] comment

Are we free? Or are we led to believe that we are free? Free to choose. We work for our freedom. We are bound by these rules like slaves, aren't we? The symbolic image of a person in a suit, repeated over and over again, sums up this cycle we are caught in. Then, when we do finally feel 'free' it feels like we're falling out of control. Therefore slavery is control, and freedom is falling? This could well be the case. What happens when you let go, when you let your inhibitions take over? Do you feel that sense of freedom? Which is the most natural feeing... freedom or slavery? Or are we bound by both? I think we should connect more with that sense of 'letting go' and feel free from the daily routine. But that's just me, others prefer the structured 'system'. That's their freedom.

Freedom via slavery

(16/10/2012)

[real not real] comment

What is reality? Oh shit. I think this subject may have been explored before. Oh well, fuck it... as I say. For me, reality is what's around us. It's everything that has been here before, and will be here long after we're all dead. And by that I mean the human race as a whole. The universe is real. 'Time' isn't, in the sense that clocks, schedules etc are all man-made constructs. Therefore they are not real. Time is design. It isn't the foundations on which reality is built. The universe is the foundations upon which reality is built. The trees, the oceans... all that stuff adds up to one big slice of reality. Clocks are just a phase, and once the human race has run its course... clocks will become obsolete. Time will have no relevance. Not in the way we know it anyway. The one constant? Space. That was here long before us and will remain here for a long, long fucking time. Disregard that clock (it's not real) and embrace reality.

Real not real

(09/10/12)

[distraction of interaction] comment

Distraction of interaction (see previous post) is an accompaniment to the interaction is subtraction instalment. This and distraction of interaction are commentaries on the infrastructure of certain governing systems. The first was a reaction to the lives we lead... like ants scurrying around our cities, with no apparent cause. The idea being, that the more we interact the more we are subtracted from our own goals in life, hence interaction is subtraction. Distraction of interaction is a continuation of this theme, the more we interact the more we are distracted. The key reference in this piece is the use of faded and blurred 'symbols'. Again, 'systems' that give us something to follow. Something to distract us. Are we really leading out the lives we choose, or are we merely led to distraction and subtraction via interaction? Who fucking knows, but it's interesting thinking about it and creating a visual response.

Distraction of interaction

(02/10/2012)

From one existence to the next

Energy. What is it? Is it just a way of powering things? Cars, lights, toasters, electric toothbrushes etc etc blah blah. Or is it deeper? We all know we run on energy, and if we eat too much fuel we get fat, and if we exercise we burn that fat. It's a simple enough equation. Energy enters our body, then energy leaves our body... right? Each of us are a person created by two other people, so some of their energy went into making us. Ok, that seems fine... they combined their energy, and gave a little bit to us so we could exist. But what happens when we die? Is it simply a matter of gradually fading out, like a candle? Does our energy go somewhere when we finally die? I think energy is always travelling form one point to the next. That's how the universe works. When I die, I take comfort in knowing that my energy will eventually be a part of something else. I believe that we don't just die and that's it. It's a huge lifecycle that continuously balances itself out. It's just that in this instance, we are human and we have what's called a conscience. We can think about things, and interact with things in a different way. Once the energy has left our bodies though, it moves onto something else... balancing out the bigger picture. Passing from one existence to the next.